mentally drooling

Is it possible to be too attached to not having attachments? I’m moving in a few weeks which has resulted in my weekends being spent eying my belongings suspiciously. To make matters worse, there was a mass break-in to a bunch of cars including mine a few months ago. Turns out the robbers were clever enough to find ways to mimic certain cars’ unlocking mechanism causing them to easily open even locked cars (mine was locked). I’m now playing this game of “what am I down with being stolen?” when I look at my belongings on top of “what can I donate/throw out?” as I try to pack my car ahead of time.

I do not have strong spatial intelligence either resulting in me panicking about how there isn’t enough room in my little mini cooper for my stuff. A few weeks ago I enlisted my roommates in helping me do a test run for a desk I’m trying to keep. It fit just fine! Today, I curse the same desk and contemplate the ways in which I could discard of it.

The idea of a reset button for all of my belongings feels so appealing and freeing. As I found myself mentally drooling over that idea, it struck me how attached I am to minimalism. Attachment is the root of suffering and I am suffering with an anxious mind today because of it.

To calm myself down, I play the scenario out. I’m days away from moving and find I simply cannot fit everything in my car. What then? The truth is that if I find I can’t fit what I want into my car, I can easily donate much of it without much angst over letting go of what I once had. Trust your adaptability! This is a beautiful problem to have!

Blah — still I long for just having my backpack slung over my shoulder as I head off into a new adventure.

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