forming

I’m in Europe once more, traveling to all new places: Málaga, Spain; Brussels, Belgium; Copenhagen, Denmark. It’s a slow, abundant trip with ample time to rest, explore, and catch up with loved ones from afar. Málaga left me both with such a high about work and a horrible bout of the flu. Since 2019, I’ve had a few different in person meetups with Automattic but they all have felt like an emptying experience where, by the end, I am at my end. This was markedly different. Despite us being nearly 9x the size of when I started at the company, this was a smaller gathering of around 230 folks which was nearly the size of my very first full company meetup. I got to enjoy a lovely mix of old and new connections: breakfast with folks I’ve worked with for years and dinner with people whose names I just learned. Something shifted and I felt that magic of community that I wondered if I’d ever feel again after the pandemic. It’s like it just took my soul this long to reboot and reconnect (I don’t try to rush it if I can help it). To notice that shift and be able to exclaim it has felt wonderful and real.

Even as a horrible case of the flu gripped me less than 24 hours after I left Málaga and landed in Brussels, I continue to hold onto the momentum it’s given me and have had to force myself to truly take time away as I’m on vacation. I’m already dreaming of how best to use the cutting edge features of the Interactivity API in the Block Museum. My thoughts tug at me to think more about how phase 3 outreach might look, building off of the 20+ convos I’ve already had. I am forcing myself not to pursue an idea just yet that I have for the WordPress Playground that would allow someone to experience various levels of curation of the editing experience to demo what’s possible in restricting vs opening up the editor. The ideas feel endless and I feel excited to turn them from mere thoughts spinning through my head to concrete initiatives in the hands of the community.

I collapsed in Brussels, barely leaving bed for three days, and solely relying on my mom who had joined me to care for the both of us. I felt so bad for many reasons: not being able to give her a great experience, risking her getting sick, and deciding on an airbnb with a distinctly loud nighttime vibe right outside her window. We had picked rooms at the start of the trip and, since my mom is a consistent ear plug wearer, she took on the noisier room. Neither of us realized what that actually meant though and, as the hours passed of horrendous sounding dudes singing karaoke, my panic grew. My mom is the best sport though and made a fortress of pillows along with a noise diminishing head wrap of sorts to drown it out. Thankfully, she only suffered for the first three nights and the rest of the time we were spared from more singing. With our day trips off the table and my recovering self trying to ramp up to being out for a few hours at a time, we stayed slow and steady, venturing to the many chocolate shops, enjoying to go Thai food across the street, and exploring museums. We ended the trip with an elaborate fine dining experience of eight courses that kept us up way too late.

We’re now in the Copenhagen part of our trip with 10 days to explore and lots of stories to tell, especially of a reunion between my mom and her “Danish family” that she stayed with in 1966. As the trip continues, I return to a level of deep gratitude for the life I have of shared adventure and the way joy really can double. I’m also reflecting on the ways in which I could be a much better host to loved ones. I have an apartment right now in Seattle that’s actually semi-furnished/livable that I’ve offered up to folks to stay in, with a few taking me up. I still leave it with regularity though and ponder the ways in which I could be more welcoming and more generous. It’s a massive privilege to have and I want that joy to double back in the place I’m calling home. When my mom tells me stories of her Danish Family taking her in, complete with five children under the age of 14, I can’t help but wonder the ways in which I might be living an unnecessarily restrictive life that very well could be quite different if I were to open up my space more. As with each trip I take, I wonder how I’ll be different for it and this is an early way I can feel forming. I remember dreaming of having an apartment in Durham, NC that all my friends could have keys to, coming and going as my introversion would allow. With low social needs though, I find myself wondering what it might look like for me and the bigger effort I could make for folks to use my apartment when I’m thousands of miles away.

Travel and rest and inspiration shared. What more can I want?