Sabbatical II: 2 months

I came to write a recap of my second month of my second sabbatical but it was hard to write about anything other than the Automattic layoffs first. It’s one thing to experience the extreme privilege of a paid sabbatical and it’s another to do so while 16% of the company is laid off. Since the news hit, I’ve had to greatly resist jumping right back into work and trying to do what I can to help, both those I still work with and those I no longer do. As I write this, I remind myself to seriously rest–the best thing I can do is use this extreme privilege to come back as refreshed and renewed as possible.

I spent this last month celebrating my birthday, soaking up nature in Seattle, and on a two week roadtrip with my mom all over the Southeast US to celebrate her 80th birthday. The aim of the roadtrip was for her to spend time with friends and family she doesn’t get to see very often (or for decades). This meant that I spent more time with people looking back on their lives than planning what’s next. I paid attention to what felt like still mattered when looking back (loved ones, health, trips/memories/experiences) and what was easily left out (material items). I watched as my mom reunited with people she hadn’t seen sometimes for longer than I’ve been alive. It brought me into an entirely new side of my mom and her life. Here’s just a smattering of many reunions:

How do you catch up over such great time and distance? I feel that question so personally having had to try to do the same with siblings I didn’t grow up with and my birthmom over the years. For me, it feels unbearable to consider waiting so long to see anyone I cared about but money, health, time, etc take its toll in helping us connect with one another. If anything, I’m left in awe and how after so many years so much care and love can remain. As one woman said about seeing my mom after 30+ years, “We picked up at a semicolon”. How beautiful. May we all have that chance. Along the way, I snuck in time with some of my loved ones, including spending time with two kiddos of a dear friend and trying my best to win over the shyer younger one (I very proudly did!). Ah and the dogs! I got to cuddle up and love on five different dogs. The days were so full that I barely opened my computer, read the news too much, or struggled to sleep. If anything, I was quickly reminded and forced to confront my deep introversion. I ended the trip bone tired, wanting to turn my phone off again, and not talk to anyone for a while.

I’m now back in Seattle and I can feel some old habits creep in with reading the news more than is productive, blasting music instead of noting my surroundings, and picking up my computer for a “quick task” only to get sucked in. I recognized this would likely happen after my first round coming back to Seattle. I’ve created a light checklist of items of things I’d like to ensure I do each day for April as I both am trying to stay put (aka not travel) and want to go deep locally:

• Meditate
• Fill out my line a day journal (it’s a five year journal and I can get lazy with doing it daily).
• Mess with AI for 30-60 minutes (set a timer). This is purely to keep me sharp for work.
• Read for an hour. Audiobooks count.
• Go outside (even just a small walk).
• Move my body (hiking, cycling, lifting, walking, dribbling).
• Stretch and do some mobility exercises for 10 minutes.

That last item is inspired by being around so many fit 80+ year olds. I am increasingly thinking of my body and my health over the long run and what I can do to keep it going so I can perhaps hike or bike for longer. The biggest piece missing from the above that I considered adding is reaching out/being social but I do have a strong enough habit of that for now that I decided to leave it off. I’m also trying to embrace and own my introversion a bit more rather than succumbing to extroversion pressure.

I continue to unsubscribe from emails, resist multiple day sessions of news reading, remind myself to slow down, and turn my phone off. As I wrote that last sentence, I reached over to actually turn my phone off after wanting to all day. I have so much to look forward to this month: possibly meeting someone born through traditional surrogacy for the first time, a local bikepack from my apartment with Kel, a getaway with my partner to a nearby spot, a quick visit from one of my best friends, and many everyday moments of movement and connection. For today though, I plan to step away from tech after I finish messing around with AI, make lunch, head to my partner’s apartment to read for an hour or so, and go on a nearby hike this afternoon. My heart is heavy and I have the luxury of being able to attend to it.