deliberate delayed gratification - A year and a half ago, I snagged two disposable cameras. I sent one to someone I was getting to know as she embarked on building a new home in Salt Lake City and I kept one for myself as I headed off to return to San Diego. In the letter that accompanied the disposable […]
Vast dictionary — Surrogacy Stories - Had to re-share a post from another site I run on a recent visit with a therapist that made me appreciate the dictionary of words I carry with me as I live out being a surrogate kid: For a long time, I sought out a therapist who understood surrogacy and who I’d be able to […]
emotional foam rolling - Despite this blog’s current domain name (, I’m practicing staying in one place. You’d think this would be an obvious thing to. do since I have had an apartment somewhere in San Diego for most of the last 3 years but that didn’t stop me in the past. I’ve left for months at a time […]
Record book - Confession time: my first ever blog was on Blogger and I still write on it. It’s private with only four souls ever being given access over its ~14 year history. No one has access currently and the 653 posts represent my young heart out in the ether. Unfortunately, the posts only go back to 2009 […]
little homes - It’s a bizzare experience to be able to add so many layers of memories on top of a place so far from where you live. I’ve returned to Portland. I don’t know how many times I’ve been here before but I can feel three distinct layers of memories: the deep gray, the warmth of connection, […]
lifechat ramble - The first “lifechat” I can remember having was in 3rd grade. I was at my elementary school by the monkey bars with a 5th grader during some sort of recess period. We spoke so easily about what felt like hard topics for two kiddos. I remember walking away from the conversation feeling so alive with […]
chosen integration - As my sabbatical winds down, I feel at peace and am looking optimistically towards the future. I was expecting pre-work nerves to creep up more as the day came to an end — similar to the feelings I had not so long ago when returning to school after a summer break. Instead, I feel a […]
well worn mental paths - With less than two weeks left of my sabbatical, I have started to more seriously think about work. Coworkers have begun reaching out and checking in which has helped move me back into that part of my universe. As I do so, I find myself stumbling upon well worn mental paths around work. I’ve spent […]
Restlessness - In a fit of restlessness just moments ago, I forced myself to meditate. Thankfully, Headspace, the app I use to meditate, has a little pack on the exact topic. As I held space for myself and observed what I was feeling, I felt something I don’t quite know if I’ve ever felt before. Whereas I […]
layered celebration - I have been experimenting with not documenting life as much over the last week. As part of this, I deactivated my instagram account and have routinely opted not to snag my “nice” fujifilm camera as I go to leave for the day. The pictures I have taken on my dated iPhone 6 are easy, quick, […]
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