Consent & Emotional Intimacy - Recently, I had a marathon of a lifechat running through to 4am with someone I don’t see often. When I finally curled up to go to bed, I could hardly sleep as my mind raced to process all of the new insights, connections, and questions. Lifechats leave me on a high of sorts that’s impossible […]
Embrace the medium - I realized something about myself today that felt worthy of some quick life documentation. I do tasks that should slow you down quickly. I’ll write letters to other people but rather than taking my time I’ll scribble furiously usually without many breaks between letters. It all just comes flooding out. I’ll make bread but do […]
26 - I write this as my body struggles to keep up with my recent surge of intensity and intentionality. I spent the weekend in San Francisco surrounded by queer people in the Castro District at the Lesbians Who Tech Summit. I depleted myself entirely using up every word, every smile, every question that came across my […]
Retreat - Some of my favorite movies are war movies. From a young age thanks to movies like “The Patriot”, I gained an appreciation for the power of the retreat and how it can be used to actually maintain strength. I’ve retreated these last few days growing quiet externally while my internal dialogue rages on. Without full […]
Capacity for life - I’ve made my bed more times in the last few weeks than I have in likely the last few years. I’m proactive about things like laundry, trash, running the dishwasher, and vacuuming my room. I’m reading books I had nearly forgotten about. I’m not mass cooking meals and am instead going to the grocery store […]
Expanding definitions - I’ve recently been stuck on this concept of expanding definitions. It’s very much a situation of “I have a hammer [of a concept] and everything is a nail [aka fits into the concept]”. I’m realizing how much freer life is the more you expand definitions of things. Family. Marriage. Health. Happiness. Accomplishment. These massive concepts […]
the life I already have - In just over 9 months, I’ll start a paid 3 month sabbatical from work. I’m in the process of narrowing down how I want to spend it. I want it to be meaningful, intentional, and in some way allowing me to experience the world in a way I normally can’t. Thus far, I have a few […]
goldilocks’ dream - what about this theory. the fear of not being enough. and the fear of being 'too much.' are exactly the same fear. the fear of being you. — .. (@nayyirahwaheed) November 16, 2018 I sometimes long for the day when I’m “just right” – Goldilocks’ dream. I imagine we all feel that way as we […]
Strangers & Staring - I have a sabbatical next year for 3 months. 3 glorious months of no work and, right now, no plans. Recently, the idea of spending as much time as possible outdoors has crossed my mind. Nature fills me up and centers me so spending as much time within it seems ideal. There’s a catch though […]
As close as we can - My card got declined today while grocery shopping. It was ironic as I have been “home” in San Diego for an extended period of time yet still somehow managed to set off alarm bells with some bot overlord in charge of tracing fraudulent activity. It normally only happens when I’m on the road and forgetful […]