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1PM hit today and I hadn’t been outside or eaten lunch yet. I was on a roll though and was already mentally pushing back any sort of balance in my life in favor of getting more done. Do you ever have those days where you do one part of your life really well? For example, today as of 1PM I was an excellent employee and hermit but a terrible athlete and general person (depends on whether you view hermithood as a good or bad thing). I had emails piled up from a non profit I volunteer with along with emails from my own parents. I had text messages from multiple friends that were sitting unanswered. I had already decided by 1PM to blow off going to the gym and pondered whether I could get by with just eating an apple for lunch. I was prepared to just work the rest of the day in all honesty. I was holding up only one part of my life at the risk of jeopardizing others that also contribute to my happiness and wellbeing. I thought twice about it though.

This happens sometimes – I tend to like the extremes so sometimes I will work for hours straight without even realizing it. All of a sudden, the day is over, the room is dark, and my computer light is the only one on. The same thing happens when I workout – 2 hours will pass and it’ll finally hit me how tired I am. I have to remind myself that there is such a thing as tomorrow even though it’s not promised. I’ve started to try to get better about this. The second I started recognizing this thought process today, I typed a quick message to my team and logged off. I cooked lunch and went straight to the gym. Rather than rushing home, I took the long route and got a nice iced latte to finish off the afternoon. Balance never tasted so good.

I think we all have these ideals: be a good mom, be a good daughter, be a good friend, be a good employee, etc. We want to hold up all parts of ourselves often to the detriment of ourselves. We become a good {fill in the blank} only to not feel good about it and to not remember why we wanted to be a good {fill in the blank} in the first place. To me, this often happens because what we define as good is so influenced by what’s around us. Being a “good person” in San Francisco is probably very different than being a “good person” in a small town. When I lived in San Francisco, I could walk by people without smiling or acknowledging a single person without it being odd. In a small town, I would probably be seen as a jerk. I’ve realized the key is reminding yourself of the “why” you want to be something. For me, I jumped off today because I realized getting a workout in and getting outside would make me better overall than sitting and grinding on more work. I want to get a workout in because I want to be able to go play a pick up soccer game with friends without dreading the feeling of being out of breath. I want to get outside because I want to be out in the sun because I know it lifts my mood.

We can’t balance everything everyday. It’s not obvious when we have to weigh these choices of what we want to prioritize that specific day. Today, I was a good employee, a consistent athlete, a good friend, and a responsible adult. I also ate an entire row of those girl scout shortbread cookies and watched 2 hours of TV. You win some – you lose some. They both have their place 🙂