Don’t worry this post isn’t about me going paleo or joining a movement community that only believes in crawling on the ground at all times. I played touch rugby this morning for a wonderful hour and a half. I haven’t touched a rugby ball (get it) in a long time and went to play concerned that I would make an absolutely fool of myself. As with every co-ed sport, I was one of two girls there and immediately knew I needed to prove myself quickly if I wanted to be included in any plays. As many coaches have repeatedly told me over the years – go back to the basics. Be in position. Carry the ball in front of you – don’t tuck it under one arm – so you can pass to either side. Watch for the gaps. Hang back and be at a run when you receive the ball. Flat line on defense. Turn to the side when you catch a punt so it can roll backwards if you miss. I started repeating the basics over and over to myself before the game started. It worked. I proved myself and I had a blast playing. It didn’t hurt that it was a beautiful day or that I scored a couple of tries.
This past week I’ve returned to the basics of who I am and I didn’t realize it today until I had to do the same with rugby. I like to check in with people. I enjoy starting my day early. I love the feeling of playing a team sport. There’s something about a thought provoking book that humbles and excites me. I find it fun to strike up conversations with strangers. I find peace and understanding through writing. I value helping and giving tremendously. I have a goofy side that not everyone sees. I don’t mind taking the long way home if it allots me extra time to think something through more. All of these things and more make up the core of “me”. I subconsciously went back to the basics and have started working on remembering what it means to be me. Some parts of me have changed since the last time I checked and I can feel it. I’m learning to be okay with that.
In a sense I’m doing what the Quantified Self movement strives to accomplish. However, I’m taking inventory on items that you really can’t put a number or rating to. If you try, the number you list is probably more arbitrary that you’re willing to admit. How much do you trust the people in your life? How much do you trust yourself? What’s your energy level? How motivated are you by the things you need/want to accomplish? Are you happy with how you spent the last hour of your time? What do you want to be better about? What is a weakness for you right now? What are you strengths? Are you content with the last year of your life? How do you feel about the person you are today? Is what you are focusing on today in line with who you want to be and what you want to accomplish? The questions are numerous and lingering. They aren’t quick questions that you can give a 1-5 rating to and move on. In fact, I don’t think I want to move on from these questions. I want them to linger. I think the act of asking yourself these questions is just as important as finding any answers to them.
The more I go back to the basics of who I am, the more I realize I have a strong foundation with which to build my life on. It’s kind of neat to know that the person I’ve been for so long is someone I can truly fall back on. This isn’t to say I’m without a ton of faults but it is to say that I’m having a “I can work with this..” moment with myself.
I play this fun game from time to time – I imagine myself 5 years from now and where I want to be. I then imagine what the person I was 5 years ago would think of who I am today. The person I was 5 years ago I think would admire the person I am today and I am resting easy in that today.