I am writing a book and it will be a collection of thoughts about surrogacy. I have no clue how long it’ll take. I have no clue if I’ll ever finish it. I just know I need to go from a “One day I’ll write a book” to “I am writing a book” mentality. I figure if I start saying it, I’ll do it. This has worked in the past (how I nomaded, how I ended up in San Diego, how I bought minicooper, blah blah).
I am writing a book. iamwritingabook. I. AM. WRITING. A. BOOK.
Truthfully, I’ve already tried to “start”. I have drafts from 2016. I have journal entries from nearly me entire life to draw upon. I start and inevitably stop because I find my inability to communicate the vastness of the topic to be terrifying and exhausting. It’s what I imagine many writers feel. How can I do this topic justice? How can I do my own lived experience justice? That’s the true sticking point. I realized recently though that I want to do this for myself. I need to. I have always used writing as a way to process and I must process this story. Perhaps it will be useful to another but the fact that it’s useful enough for me is reason enough to try.
As with any great journey, one must begin. Start the clock!