For a fuller view of my writing beyond my recent posts, dive in below and peruse as much or as little as you’d like. I write about a wide range of topics from WordPress to Surrogacy to Photography to Mental Health. Don’t follow me if you want to only hear about a certain topic as I write based on what comes up for me in that moment of time. As always, thanks for reading.
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One Year in DevRel
This week, I spoke at a WordPress meetup group about one of the biggest features coming to WordPress: Full Site Editing. Leading up to the presentation, I recorded a version of the talk and shared the link with a few trusted community members hoping for feedback. In true “it takes a village” fashion, I got some amazing feedback ranging from switching out a GIF to bringing back some of my usual energy into the talk to switching around the order of slides. The day of, I found myself nervously re-recording certain parts trying to get the details just right. You…
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Like riding a bike
I got the first dose of a Pfizer vaccine today. It feels a bit unreal! I purposefully wore a shirt that said, “Enjoy this beautiful day” in hopes it would help spread some good vibes to those I knew I’d interact with. It proved to be such a great way to connect even briefly leading to lots of waves, smiles in the eyes, laughs, and comments. I entered just after what I’m assuming were two frat boys based on their shirts repping their fraternities. I loved thinking about these two college aged kids trying to be responsible and safe when…
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Dead end
Truth seems to get flimsier the messier a situation gets. How I even view the idea of truth depends on who I listen to, what I manage to remember, who I seek out to cross check me, what mood I’m in, how recent an event was, whether there’s documentation, what my value system is, what I tolerate in my life, and more. Today, I found myself desperate to call an old therapist who has since retired grasping at the chance that she might be able to help me figure out which way is up. I hovered over her name but…
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What a relief
Some days I walk around relishing in the fact that I want for nothing the world says I should. What a relief to spend my energy striving to connect rather than “succeed”.
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28
Last year, I used the following quote: “Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return.” ― Mary Jean Irion When I…
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soul at scale
I sometimes wish I had a team of Annes. One would spend all day outside snapping too many photos and taking naps in the sun. One would grind away at work with music going, caffeine at hand. One would write letters and call friends asking as many questions as she wanted. One would spend their time volunteering. One would be on a constant roadtrip. One would manage all my hobbies. One would like nap, listen to podcasts, and read all day. On and on. The biggest problem is that we’d all be too introverted to spend much time in person…
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You can do that
I remember going through a museum once somewhere far away and reading a plaque that said the person who painted the piece before me did so during a period of time where, out of pure grief, they didn’t speak for a few years. “You can do that?!” was my first thought. My mind quickly jumped to remembering texts in school detailing women who ripped their hair out and threw themselves on pyres as they tried to process the loss of loved ones. Recently, I read “Open Me Carefully” about Emily Dickinson’s letters to her sister in law (and lover), Sue…
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What if it’s both?
I don’t have it in me to write an elaborate, thoughtful post. All week I’ve been scribbling half thoughts as a bizarre note in my phone trusting my future self to have the capacity to expand upon each idea. I have to remind myself that there’s value in quick thoughts. There’s even an entire social media platform thriving on the concept after all. Being unable to imagine a future in this pandemic feels exactly the same as being unable to do so when depressed. Right now, this inability to imagine anything changing any time soon is completely baffling. Is it…
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Postcard Scribbles: All is Not Lost
Sometimes I write postcards/cards to loved ones and strangers alike that I wish I could share with more people. It’s often a message I need to hear but pass onto someone else. I can’t send a postcard to everyone (if I could, I would) so instead I’m re-sharing here. This postcard was scribbled on the back of the picture featured in this post. I nearly didn’t go to the beach the day I took this photo. The clouds felt too dark, the sky too unforgiving, and the day already too long. Still, I went only to be greeted by this…
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an escape
Despite growing up in Florida and spending 5-6 years on/off in California, I’ve never been a big beach person. I wear my sambas when I go. I never actually went swimming in the ocean while living in California. Instead, I would walk along the shore witnessing the sunset and the moments of other people. Sometimes I’d bring a book and curl up into a rock formation as I awaited the days’ final show. In any case, I found myself missing that routine and the reward that came with it. I felt invisible and at home all at once in this…
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On the Internet, this week’s events, and where we’re headed
To start, I want this post to be a discussion starter not a conversation ender. It’s a post not to express judgement but to share the tiny bit of context I’ve gathered to then ask questions from and have conversations with others about. Further, while obvious to say, it feels important to note that I want my thoughts to evolve on this wide ranging topic as this post is merely a snapshot in time of thoughts with the information that I have. I am not an expert. I’m a US citizen and a tech worker trying to make sense of…
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I hope we carry this year with us
A smattering, disjointed collection of thoughts on 2020 that, in retrospect, reflect how this year has felt for me. There’s alway so much more to say. “I hope it’s okay but there’s a slight tear in the straw. I can get you another one if you want but, from what I can see, it’s not actually ripped through…” A week ago a barista I’ve become friendly with said this to me before placing an iced latte on a table a few feet in front of me. As she backed away, I stepped up to snag it in the usual coffee…
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kindest things
I think one of the kindest things you can do to show you care about another person is to read their favorite book.
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so far away
When I was 13, I went to Honduras and met an incredible translator quickly turned friend. I recounted my heartbreaking goodbye to him in a previous post but left out the fact that we fought to stay in touch and, thanks to various WordPress blogs in college I created, found each other again. Turns out we were both searching each other’s names on social media and Google hoping to find some sort of digital trace of the other. At one point, I even got in touch on Facebook with a different person with the same name living in Honduras that…
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a majestic moose
I didn’t want to hike yesterday. I was looking for excuses not to checking road closures, gauging whether I could get one more wear out of my wool long underwear, and trying to do mental math around how busy the trail I wanted to hike might be. I leaned on some previous tips around determining self care vs self enablement and decided to just go without worrying how far I might make it on the trail. I was about a mile into what turned into a 7 mile hike jamming to music and deep in thoughts when I nearly ran…
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You might not love working at Automattic if…
This past September, I crossed 6 years of working for Automattic, the parent company of WordPress.com, Tumblr, and more. I love talking about Automattic and the unique culture that has made our distributed company work across 70+ countries for the last 15 years. The more I talk with people, the more I realized that it’s equally as valuable to share aspects of our culture that might be a turn off for people looking to work here. This feels particularly true with remote work on the rise and more options opening up. To pull back the curtain, I thought I’d take…
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with my soul
I’m dismayed by many my age in the US and their reactions to COVID-19. It was part of the impetus to fully leave my last social media hold out (instagram) in July. Over the last few weeks, I’ve begun to think about how this might impact my friendships with others who continue, despite soaring cases, to act as if everything is fine. In doing so, I keep coming back to this question: How do I trust someone with my SOUL when they are reckless with my health and that of the wider community? I don’t have any good answers and…
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fraction of the joy
I just had to share these photos with you in case they give you even a fraction of the joy they gave me.
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Choosing longing
Today I was tidying up apartment in Salt Lake City marveling at this life I have when it struck me both that I’ve felt this way before and that the longing I have for other places never fully goes away no matter how great my current location is. I still think of the sunsets in San Diego, the mountain views in Chamonix, the perfect size of Thun, the cosy feeling of North Carolina, the deep summer heat in Florida making workouts feel all the more rewarding—it never ends and I don’t want it to. This doesn’t even begin to delve…
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My setup for testing the latest & greatest for Full Site Editing
Pardon the interruption from my usual ramblings… I have a work related post! As part of my efforts with the Full Site Editing outreach group, I’ve been refining my particular setup out of excitement around future testing. This week, I was chatting with a new WordPress contributor when they asked for more information about my particular current setup. After recording a quick video, I realized this might be helpful for others so thought I’d document what I have in place with a short video. Three quick notes: All of this is done on a development site not in production which…
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things that won’t change after today
This is more of a brain dump than usual as I am struggling to gather my thoughts today. Forgive the spelling mistakes, the incomplete sentences, the jarring jumps to new thoughts, and quick ending. I keep thinking of all the things that won’t change after today. How much I love my friends. How coffee is still wonderful even if I don’t drink it everyday. How my room still needs to be on the colder side for me to get some sleep. How magical it feels to stay up all night. How quiet early mornings are. How much fun it is to…
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Sharing more favorite questions
Can you still call them favorite questions when there are more than 10? Whatever–I’ll let the judges decide. In any case, I come bearing even more questions as a follow up to my previous post. If these don’t keep you busy enough sorting through your soul, check out the prior list for good measure: If you had to write a book about absolutely anything, what would you choose to write about and what format would you write it in (book of poems, memoir, novel, etc)? Would you want the book to reach millions, a select few who might truly understand…
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Hypnotic days
The seasons are changing despite everything feeling the same. It’s a relief to live in a place right now where I can feel the passing of time compared to the hypnotic days of 70 degrees and sunny in San Diego.
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the long arc
I met up with a friend locally this week—we skateboarded at a distance, swapped stories, and tried not to fall off our newly purchased boards. I was shocked at both how quickly it was to get back into the groove of being around another human and how, at times, utterly mundane it felt. After months of not being able to see loved ones, I figured even just the sight would cause me to fall apart or spiral me into a level of connection I had yet to experience. Instead, it felt normal and I was caught off guard by that…
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call to gratitude
I threw away a pair of contacts today. It always pains me to do so yet I find a way to laugh at myself every time. I feel like I owe each pair of contacts I’ve used some sort of ritual to honor them for giving me the gift of sight. Should I say a prayer? Should I light a candle? Should I thank them for their service? Should I bow before I throw them away? Should I kneel? Despite my steadfast minimalism, I’m very much also the kid who still has a cast from a broken wrist somewhere in…
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Sharing some favorite “intense” questions
Being isolated has done strange things to my social abilities. I’ve had a resurgence of random speech impediment issues since I’m not using my voice as much. My hard fought ability for small talk has been drastically weakened and I can only think of really intense questions to ask others. On the phone over the weekend, a friend of mine and I repeatedly interrupted each other out of pure excitement during the first 10 minutes of conversation. The social rhythms I’ve learned to adopt feel frayed. If I’m being honest, it’s been kind of fun to observe what habits I…
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skim sparingly
I feel like a student again. Something switched on in me over the last few months and I’ve hit a second wind in quarantine causing me to scour the internet with interesting tidbits of knowledge to acquire. Throughout my many years in school, there were very few times when it was encouraged to go beyond the assigned readings as teachers fought to have us merely read what they gave us. My last year of school I found myself gathering “unnecessary” books and scribbling outside of the lines until new shapes formed in my mind. This partially came from getting a…
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In perspective
While out on a hike today, I repeatedly lost the path I was supposed to be on causing me to create my own a few times. I’d scramble up a hillside to get a view from above before spotting a lake knowing a path must be nearby. In return, this made finding any path exhilarating and picture worthy. My mental map and the picture on my phone of the map at the trailhead often conflicted. I had decided to do a more relaxing hike today after the last few proved to be grueling which I think just made me lean…
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My little feet
I wonder at my little feet and where they are able to take me.
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Automattic: 6 year anniversary
Around 6 years ago, I flew from San Francisco into Salt Lake City for my first Automattic Grand Meetup, the name for our company wide retreat. I think we were around 230 people then which felt massive coming off of working at a startup for a few months with less than 20 employees. I landed in a daze only on my second week into the job and wandered over to where I was told to meet for a shuttle before quickly spotting someone in WordPress swag who I correctly guessed was a coworker. He was from a place I’d never…
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